My 2nd son, Alex was diagnosed at 24 months with Autism. It was a few years before we understood how severe he was. He was non-verbal, never potty trained, completely in his own world all the time. In 2007, at the age of 7 1/2, he escaped from our home (something we were trying hard to prevent,as he was constantly trying to get outside),and drown in a lake near our home. Our 3rd son (Miles (4) who was only 3 months at the time Alex passed away) was diagnosed last year. He's much more higher functioning, verbal, somewhat social, but still has so far to go. I pray that he'll be independent enough to work and live on his own as an adult. I am now pregnant with our 4th son. I'm terrified. I stress and worry about what will happen. As much as we miss our Alex, it was a relief to be out of the 'Autism world' for awhile. Its so depressing to be back in it again. But, I've also so truly enjoyed our little Miles. After having a son that could never tell me what he needed,liked,thought or say "I love you", I cherish being able to talk to Miles. I love to hear "Goodnight Mom, I love you"-even if I do have to coax it out of him. I love watching him and listening to him and reading to him. It gives me a glimpse into what Alex might have been like, had he been able to tell me all his little thoughts. I pray for understanding for my little boy. I pray for his safety. I pray that there will be a cure, or at least a way to prevent this. And, I desperately pray that this new baby will be ok.

Carinne
Anchorage, AK